I woke up this morning to a message from my dear friend and the father of my goddaughter, informing me (politely) that I had forgotten her 14th birthday. This was bad, not least since just last week I had been communicating with him to discuss the possibility of visiting over her birthday weekend. However, it did motivate me to send her the following handwritten letter:
Dear X,
I am so sorry I forgot your birthday, please forgive me. These days I rely on my computer to remind me of events and birthdays, and for some reason this year it didn’t send me a reminder. It has been a good lesson in not relying exclusively on technology.
I hope you had a lovely birthday celebration. Your father sent me some photos and it looked great. It was your 14th birthday, right? You are really not a child anymore, though not quite an adult yet either. So maybe that is what I will write to you about.
I was reminded yesterday of these lines from A. E. Housman’s poetry collection, ‘A Shropshire Lad’:
Into my heart an air that kills
From yon far country blows;
What are those blue remembered hills,
What spires, what farms are those?
That is the land of lost content,
I see it shining plain,
The happy highways where I went
And cannot come again.
I think that the ‘land of lost content’ represents his childhood. I am very touched by those lines. I had a very happy childhood, and in some ways I really miss it. You will, I imagine, be thinking more about the future these days, and the many experiences and adventures that lie ahead. And yes, that is exciting. But while you still have one foot in the land of childhood, I would encourage you not to minimise it. Pay attention to it and cherish what is left of it.
As you advance further into adulthood, you may find yourself increasingly at odds with your parents. That is only natural. You want to explore the world and experience all that it has to offer, and they want to protect you. That will inevitably give rise to some differences. But I know how much they love you, and that is why they want so much to protect you – you are so precious to them. Try to remember that if ever you feel frustrated by them.
Teenage years can be something of a roller-coaster. You will have some wonderful, life-changing experiences, but also some moments when you don’t feel so good. Sometimes, one can feel a bit low for no particular reason. You can be in a beautiful place, surrounded by people who love you, and yet you might feel a bit low. That is perfectly normal. It happens to everyone, and often we don’t know the reason. In that case, the best thing to do it just to take a few moments to observe it and accept it (rather than trying to run away from it, or denying it). It will pass, like everything else. If you can train yourself to do that, then you will gain a skill of immense value for the rest of your life. It is also the beginning of your own inner spiritual life.
Like I said, I had a very happy childhood myself. However, the one thing my parents couldn’t give me was a way to experience God, because they themselves didn’t know that it was possible. And it has taken me a long time to work it out for myself (and it is still a work in progress). But I encourage you to be open to that possibility. When you go for a walk, ask yourself what makes the things around you alive. Try to feel their aliveness. In the ‘land of lost content’ you didn’t have to try, you just felt it; try not to lose that feeling. And feel the mystery of your own existence. If you can do this, then you will not attribute excessive weight to the wrong things, and the world will not weigh you down when things don’t go your way (which has to happen too, sometimes).
I hope this wasn’t too heavy. I wish you a very happy new year of your life. And of course, it goes without saying that I am always here for you and happy to talk to you about anything you feel like. I hope we can spend more time together in future.
Sending you lots and lots of love (and a little something so you can buy yourself a present of your own choosing).
From your godfather,
Watashi wa
watashi-wa in the snow 