The second of the great Buddhist vows states: 'Although our evil desires are limitless, we vow to be rid of them.'
From a rational, logical perspective, this is clearly impossible. Suzuki Roshi, the founder of the Zen Centre in San Francisco, recognizes this. He says:
'Even though it is impossible, we have to do it because our true nature wants us to. But actually, whether it is possible or not is not the point. If it is our inmost desire to get rid of our self-centered ideas, we have to do it. When we make this effort, our inmost desire is appeased and Nirvana is there. Before you determine to do it, you have difficulty, but once you start to do it, you have none. Your effort appeases your inmost desire. There is no other way to attain calmness.'
There is a similar teaching in Orthodoxy. Father Symeon Kragiopoulos refers to the 'unbearable cross' that man has to bear. He writes:
'Something... will happen to each one of us, if we don't despair and if we take this difficult and unbearable burden as special grace from God. Indeed, that's the way things are. So great will the blessing from God be that man will remain in wonder.'
It's unbearable, and yet we have to bear it.
My favourite, Saint Porphyrios, has this to say:
'The other religions...do not know the greatness of the Triune God. They do not know that our aim, our destiny, is to become gods according to grace, to attain likeness with the Triune God, to become one with Him and among ourselves... All these things are within us. Our soul demands that we attain them.'
The limitless nature of our evil desires, the unbearable weight of our burdens, our destiny of becoming gods according to grace... Do any of them seem possible? Or even reasonable? I think the point is: it doesn't matter. We simply have to commit to them, otherwise we will never find peace. Whether possible or not, the demands of the soul, or of our true nature, trump all other concerns.
In my mind, there are a couple of parallels with respect to voting, and to giving money to beggars.
I have often struggled to see the point in voting in elections. I know that my vote will make no difference. 'But if everyone thought like that...'; yes, but I am not everyone. My vote is insignificant as far as the result is concerned, and yet I do believe there is a point in casting my vote. It's about making a commitment, about the kind of person I want to be.
Giving money to beggars, especially in Athens, can seem equally pointless. The money will usually be spent on drugs, and in any case there will always be another beggar around the next corner. The practical result of giving the money away is negligible, perhaps even harmful. But I do give money to beggars, not because of the result, but because I think there is merit in giving, in opening one's heart and one's wallet, and this trumps more practical concerns.
Similarly, in these rarefied spiritual matters, they may be impossible from a rational, logical perspective, and yet some other deeper part of ourselves requires us to commit to them. If we don't, we suffer even more.
watashi-wa in the snow 